I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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