My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
