life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize