so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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