I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
