sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
