using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
is it fun? or sober?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
