Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
