Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
