why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How external is "for external use only"?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
