I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
