I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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