i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize
