i may or may not be watching the land before time
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
