i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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