New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
