Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Couch. On fire.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
