My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize