Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
