Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
