Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think your dad took our porno
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
