can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
