so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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