I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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