No, you can still breathe under the balls.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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