with your own penis?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
