Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
ttyl tear gas
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
