around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
