i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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