idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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