Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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