one word: firstdatebathroomanal
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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