too bad you live with your parents still
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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