i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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