i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
operation have a gay friend backfired
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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