But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have aggressive nipples.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
