after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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