Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
