I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
