talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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