I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
