No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
