ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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