For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
