Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
