East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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