would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
third nipple confirmed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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