His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
