we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
