Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
