Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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