Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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