Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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