after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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