Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
