Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
