He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
