Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
