He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
