i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
