I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
