Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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