at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
