There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize