To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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