Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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