Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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